those sound like three of the characters in "Brokeback Mountain." There's no way those are real names. Wes Welker, Rock Cartwright and Boss Bailey.I think this has happened to me 75 times over the last six years. My favorite running NFL Package moment is flipping channels and coming across a Saints game right after an Aaron Brooks incomplete pass, followed by the announcer saying, "Slow start for Aaron Brooks" as Brooks stands there with his hands on his hips and a dumb smile on his face.While we're here, some other things I noticed during Week Six. If any of them are announced as the starter for a 2005 game after my picks column is handed in, the pick switches to the other team because of the Maddox Corollary.
We're calling this the "Maddox Corollary."įive other quarterbacks qualify this season: Jonathan Quinn Chad Hutchinson JP Losman AJ Feeley and, of course, Mr. I'm never, ever, ever, EVER getting stuck backing Tommy Maddox again. He made my baby cry, he made Steelers fans cry, he nearly made me cry. And I don't care if the other team is the Sex Cruise Vikings, the Dead Man Walking Texans, you name it. Here's the point: If this ever happens again - and by "this," I mean, "I pick the Steelers on Friday, and over the next 48 hours, we come to find out that Maddox is starting the game" - let's make a gentlemen's agreement that my pick switches to the other team.
Meanwhile, Bill Cowher was standing on the sidelines frantically pressing the RESET button on his PlayStation to no avail. near the end of the fourth quarter, he threw another potential game-losing interception that a Jags linebacker dropped on his way to the end zone. Forget about the interception TD in overtime that lost the game, or the preceding fumble that squandered a certain game-winning field goal, or the other two interceptions, or all the other terrible plays he made. He single-handedly changed the course of the game. How did this turn out? If the Steelers-Jags game was the Pitt-Aniston marriage, Maddox would have been Angelina Jolie. Who would have ever thought that Tommy Maddox could potentially crash ? Finally, at 9:58, the site loaded and I changed my pick with two minutes to spare - although the baby was throwing a full-fledged Cowher-like tantrum in her Baby Einstein thingie and needed another 20 minutes and a right breast (not mine) before she calmed down. Suddenly I realized something: There were probably 3 million people online right now who saw the Maddox flash and scurried online to change their pick. At 9:55, I called up ESPN's "Pigskin Pick'Em" site, which hosts our league and was loading slower than usual.
#Who plays maddox on a million little things windows#
so I threw my baby in her Baby Einstein Activity Center (she started crying, but whatever, this was important), turned on my laptop and waited for Windows to load. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Maybe it was too late to change the column, but I still had a chance to take the Jags in my picks league.
So I picked the Steelers giving three to the Jags, never imagining. I'm fine with Chaz Batch - you can win with him, his Detroit years were better than anyone remembers, and he won't single-handedly kill you. When Roethlisberger was injured last week, Chaz Batch was supposed to start for Pittsburgh. To be honest, I didn't even know he was still in the league.
During the 2002 season, when the Kordell Stewart Era was threatening to cause riots in Pittsburgh, Maddox assumed the quarterback job and played out of his mind - including a 473-yard game against Atlanta - before nearly getting paralyzed by an awkward hit against the Titans in mid-November. On Sunday morning, right around 9:48, my daughter and I were watching the pregame shows when we saw a chilling graphic flash on the bottom of the screen: "MADDOX TO START FOR STEELERS." I'm fine with this.īut I'm drawing the line with last week's Tommy Maddox debacle. Six or seven times a year, I'll get screwed by a late pregame injury or an unforeseen weather report. And over the years, I came to grips that things can change from Friday morning (my last chance to change a pick) to Sunday morning (when games start on the West Coast). After five years of writing this NFL column, I'm lodging an official protest.Įvery week during the season, I bang out my research on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons, watch all the relevant shows, grab a post-"Survivor" coffee and write until the wee hours of Thursday night.
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